A Broken Man's Angel
by AlexSnape-36
Summary: Severus Snape leaves the woman he loves,his angel,in order to save her from himself.Over a year later,still in love with her,he has to watch her marry another man.Is it really too late for them,or can Severus's 'angel' save him from his own private hell?
1. Mistakes and angels

**Disclaimer: What doesn't belong to me is not mine. Obviously.**

** Chapter one: Mistakes and Angels**

Severus Snape had made many mistakes in his life. She had been the only one he could never regret. He could just as easily forget her touch, which, though he hadn't physically felt it in over a year, he could still feel beneath his skin. She still haunts his dreams, and memories of her never left his mind. He often still finds himself unable to resist going over the past, attempting to discover what went wrong...what he couldn't...or didn't give her. What did the man, now standing at the alter with her, have over him? Sweet words? A gentle touch? The sentimental fool!  
Then again, it's not as though he hadn't expected this to happen. Life had never been good to him before the moment he'd met her. There was no reason for fate to be kind to him now; no reason to believe he deserved her. He never had. He had known that. He'd never dared attempt to fool himself into thinking he deserved her. After all the mistakes he'd made... it just wasn't possible. He would pay for his mistakes for the rest of his life..  
He had, however, brought this on himself. For a moment, he'd had the nerve to think of her as his second chance. He had tried to turn her into his second chance when fate hadn't wanted him to have one. So he blamed himself for everything...and when she'd sent him the invite, he decide to punish himself by forcing himself to sit through her forced himself to watch her promise herself to another man.  
As always, he refused to show emotion, refused to let it get the better of him as he silently fought back the tears threatening to run down his face. It had been a struggle from the moment he saw her walking down the aisle. He hadn't been able to take his eyes off her. He had refused to look at the groom, who was, no doubt, gloating over his accomplishment of acquiring such a woman as her. Black had always been just as bad as Potter. They had always been one step ahead of him; had always had what he wanted--respect, power, friends, girls...and now love. She'd almost glowed as she walked down the aisle. A vision in white. His angel.  
Angels couldn't survive in hell. They lost their innocence, their beauty, and their hearts there. He lived in his own private hell. He'd never been willing to allow it to corrupt her. He wouldn't have been able to stand it. Every beautiful thing that he had ever touched had turned into ashes beneath his fingertips. When he'd seen her struggling to hold onto her own identity while fighting for a stronger hold on his heart, he'd known he had to let her go before it was too late. Before he corrupted her as well.  
So he had. She had, at first accused him of not trying hard enough, of not thinking her worthy of his love...of not wanting her. It's had broken him to have to continuously turn her away. He watched her hurt for a while before picking herself back up... and he blamed himself-- not for leaving her, but for ever having loved her in the first place. She had accused him of leaving her alone...with nothing. He had never given her the chance to realize that when he cut her loose, he'd may as well have cut out his heart and soul and sent it with her. Because if she had realized how much of him she still possessed, she may not have the strength to stand with anoth man now. To move on with her life. Angels are like that. Loving purely, with all of themselves. Even a man as broken as Severus Snape.

**A/N: Well, that's the first chapter. I hope you liked it. Please review.**


	2. Broken Promises

**Chapter Two: Broken Promises**

I stand with him and take my vows, promising Sirius a heart that is not mine to give. It's been two years since my heart was mine to give away. I don't think it will ever be again, because while my mind should be here at the alter, both it and my heart are sitting somewhere in the crowd of guests. I am making promises that come broken... like valuables in a box that has been mishandled. I just hope me new husband never realizes what I feel inside isn't for him...it's for a man I can't have, but one I ca't forget. I pray, as I change my name from Rachael Erin Brooks, to Erin Black, that Sirius never realizes the real reason I'm marrying him now. I care for him, but I do not love him. there have been only two men that I have loved, and I have promised both of them that I would move on. I can't make my mind move on, nor my heart, but I can make my body do so. I swore to my father on his deathbed that I would marry. I had also, though unwillingly, promised Severus that I would move on. The least I can do is pretend to...so I invited him to watch me do so. If my scheme to fulfill my promises is as brilliant as I once thought it was, then why do I feel as though the only one I'm fooling is myself?  
I close my eyes as he leans in and kisses me softly, finishing the wedding. Accepting my pre-broken promise. Sentencing me to a life I have never wanted. A life I will not be able to escape. A life that will lead to nothing but death.  
'Trust me now' I breathe to myself, 'This is for the best. The only one I have left. The only one _he_ left me with.'  
I catch Severus Snape's gaze one last time before I leave the church with sirius. His eyes haunt me: deep black and gaurded...but now they look broken and empty. Like mine have been for the past year or so. I can face a smile and pretend to laugh and be happy, but I can't get the evidence of my past out of my eyes.  
I'm dreading the wedding night. I've been able to use the 'wait until we'er married excuse ' to refuse to sleep with Sirius. Now, I have no excuse. It is expected. It's all expected. I close my eyes and take comfort in memories I'd be better off forgetting. It's the only thing I have left. The only thing I can hold on to and get lost in. My only escape from this life of broken promises.


	3. Two Years Earlier

**Two years earlier**

"Tell me, Severus, are you ever going to confront the girl with these feelings you're harboring for her, or do you intend to spend the rest of your life desiring her from a distance?" Minerva asks him with a sly smile.

"She's not a girl, she's a woman." Severus snaps back at her, avoiding the question.

"She could be _your_ woman," Minerva tempts him, refusing to give up.

Severus sighs, "You're far too observant, Minerva. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were Dumbledore under guise of a polyjuice potion."

"The next time you feel the need to compare me to that traitorous old pig, remember that I control your paycheck!" She snaps at him.

Severus smirks.

"Why don't you give her a chance? Make a move!" Minerva continues encouragingly, wiping the smirk off his face.

"You mean besides the fact that there are several deatheaters out there who would like to have my head, and the head of anyone that dared get close to me, served to them on a silver platter?" Severus asks bitterly, "She has shown no interest in me, and I therefore have am not inclined to believe that she would appreciate the sort of move you are suggesting I make."

"Oh, be selfish for once in your life, Severus! Go after what you want…the _woman_ you want! Live a little while you're still young!" She insists.

"The last time I selfishly went after the woman I wanted it got her killed." He counters irritably.

"The last time was different. You-know-who was alive, you were a man pretending to be a deatheater pretending to be an order member pretending to be a deatheater, and the woman you wanted already belonged to someone else. Things are different now, and as I'm sure you know, Poppy's assistant is quite single."

A low growl comes from the back of Severus's throat as he stands up and storms out of the room, leaving behind a headmistress who had a rather uncharacteristically smug look on her face. She had planted the seeds. Now all she needed to do was watch them grow.

* * *

Rachael knocks three times on Severus's office door and listens carefully for the reply.

"Enter," He beckons curtly.

She opens the door and takes a few steps into the room before shutting it behind her.

"I suppose you're here for Poppy's potions? He questions curtly.

She nods, studying him. She had found herself attracted to him from the moment she had met him. She couldn't resist looking when she was so readily handed an opportunity.

"They're on that table," He continues, motioning towards the small table in the corner behind him. "Take them and kindly be on your way, Madam Draven."

Ignoring the last bit, she sits down in the chair positioned in front of his desk. "I was also wondering if you would be so kind as to restock my personal stores." She requests daringly, "All I need are a couple of headache and stress relief potions…and perhaps a sleeping drought or two."

He studies her with a cloaked expression, weighing his options. If he agreed, she'd take her potions and leave. He probably wouldn't get another opportunity to speak with her again any time soon unless he made an obvious attempt to do so. If she refused…if she got riled up…Severus knew from the experience of others that she wouldn't back down. He had seen her arguing with Professor Trelawney. The divinations professor had made the mistake of predicting her death, and she had taken it as a personal insult. He could see the fire in her. She was beautiful when she was angry. Like a storm…lovely, but dangerous under certain circumstances.

He couldn't resist seeing how far he could push her.

"And what makes you think I have the time to meet your every individual little need?" He sneers, allowing a tone of irritation to enter his voice.

She stares blankly at him for a moment, shocked, before replying in the same tone of voice that he had used.

"You're the potions master, aren't you? It's your job to provide the staff with potions. Unless, of course, I have overestimated you? Do you not have the ability to make the potions I have requested?" She asks mockingly.

"Unlike you, I have classes to teach. I have more than adequate abilities to make any potion I so desire. It is simply a matter or whether I need them. As it is, I don't remember _give the wanna be mediwitch everything she wants_ being in my job description."

Rachael stands up, her eyes flashing furiously. He stands up as well and moves around the desk to stand between her and the door to ensure that she didn't simply storm out. He was enjoying himself far too much to allow her to take this moment from him.

"Furthermore," He continues, "You, as Poppy's assistant, have full access to her stock of potions. I don't see any reason you would need your own."

"So the rumors are right- you are an incorrigible bastard!" She snarls at him, but freezes as a smirk crosses his face and realization dawns on her, "And you're baiting me…"

Severus moves towards her, backing her up against his desk.

"Am I?" He murmurs, raising an eyebrow. He presses his body against hers, boxing her in with a hand on his desk on either side of her. He holds her gaze questioningly.

"Yes," She answers shakily.

He presses his mouth to hers, roughly deepening the kiss, his tongue exploring her mouth. A bolt of electricity travels from her lower stomach through the rest of her body, arousing her and putting long dormant senses into alert. Severus gasps into her mouth as she presses her body back against his. He pulls away in time to prevent her from noticing the growing bulge in his pants.

"Forgive me…I shouldn't have done that." He says, breathing heavily and struggling to regain control of himself.

She reaches out to lay a hand on his chest but he quickly steps back, just out of her reach. She lets her hand drop back to her side in defeat.

"Please don't apologize…it's been a long time since I met anyone who could make me feel that way…" She admits before moving past him and taking the box from the corner.

She had nearly reached the door when he suddenly remembered what she had asked him for. He quickly moves behind his desk and pulls open a drawer.

"Draven," He calls her back, pulling four vials from the drawer and summoning two more out of a nearby cabinet.

"I believe you requested these for your personal use?" He says simply as she turns back to face him. He puts them into a box and shrinks it so that it would fit in her pocket. Rather than handing it to her, he approaches her and slips it in himself.

"Call me Rachael… and thanks." She returns meeting his gaze, wanting nothing more than to put the box back down and pull his mouth down onto hers. She pushes aside the feeling and nods curtly, leaving his office before he can reply.

Severus returns to the chair behind his desk. His eyes widen as he realizes what he'd done.

"Well, Minerva," He mutters, "It seems as though you've gotten your way…a moment of selfishness."


End file.
